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“Flowers in a Box”

“Flowers in a Box” is a notoriously hilarious troll fanfiction, written in the tradition of “My Immortal,” a truly horrendous fanfiction penned (or rather, pounded haphazardly) in 2006. (http://encyclopediadramatica.ch/My_Immortal) though not specifically related to “My Immortal,” “Flowers in a Box” is undoubtedly just as horror-tastic. The critical difference being that the author is unapologetically trolling. 

Published on fanfiction.net in August of 2011, “Flowers in a Box” consists of 14 chapters (most less than a page long) of barely comprehensible drabble based loosely on BBC’s Sherlock. The author reveals clearly in the last two chapters that the fic is a troll, as she reverts back to normal, comprehensible English and excuses herself by claiming that all prior foolishness had been a dream that John was having. The fanfiction contains numerous thinly veiled references, including Anderson’s dinosaur fetish, a suggestion of a Dr. Who crossover, and dialogue about a towel, referring to another of Martin Freeman’s movies The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

The author, samlicker113, is present on tumblr as Penworthy (http://penworthy.tumblr.com/) and is actually quite hilarious.

Choice quotes:

  • ”:(” said sherlock “but you were dead, for realz-“
  • “i would liek to be beaked into a cake so i cood eat it but anyways im not dead” said mycroft
  • mycroft wakled away twilling his umbrella (whos name is lesty and he lieks to cudle it at nihgt and pertend it is lestrande)
  • “becuse i forgot my towel” said jonh

  • “what are you on your period or something?” said sherlock also bitchily (but john can sound way more bitchy because morgan freman plays him)

“you should know i’m not a girl after you spent all night sucking my dick ;)” said john (john has the hots for sherlock even if he has squinty eyes)

(i bet john has a squinty eyes fetish)

  • anderson stempted through the doorway of the door. in side was a bunch of creepy sutff like spider web and a fish tank with deadly fish and a hammer head shark in it. and so was moriarty.

Full fic available here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7338112/1/Flowers_In_A_Box